Tis the season...

Well that's three weeks done and it's now finally the week before Christmas. Before I moved down here I was using Christmas as a big milestone and that by making it to Christmas without changing my mind/losing my mind/getting too upset would be a big achievement. Well, I've managed it...

The last two weeks have actually been pretty fun. It's almost been a bittersweet thing moving away from home and starting a new job at this time of year.
It's good because on the work side of things every thing is pretty social and everyone is in a cheery mood, the office is decorated in cheap tinsel and long lunches and early finishes are not frowned upon. I had my first Channel 4 Christmas party which I actually managed to survive without getting too drunk or doing anything embarrassing or stupid...which I am usually well known for. And there was actually in escalator in the middle of the club which had my name written all over it, but I managed to get up ad down it like a normal human being. It was at a pretty cool club in Camden, and we had the entire place to ourselves. There was lots of laughing and dancing and merriment, along with free cocktails and festive finger food. And I enjoyed myself...my team are pretty easy to get on with and they all include me and seem to have taken a genuine interest in getting to know me. So apart from the odd occasion when I stood around like a spare part, I had a really good time and fully got involved. I even escaped a hangover! I've also been out on a team Christmas lunch...and when I say lunch I mean starting at 12.30pm and just not stopping until the last person is standing! I made it to 8pm and I had to call it a day. But I got to know my team better, and we did the whole Secret Santa thing and the usual tradition office party things. Lotsa fun! So, as I was saying...this time of year has been a good time to start as it's given me an easier platform to fit in at work.
Then there is the flip side...the bitter side to this bittersweet situation. I am not at home for the build up to Christmas. Most people who know me know how much I love Christmas, how I love my traditions - the putting up of my tree, the putting up of my mum's tree, the Christmas markets and late night Christmas shopping with my mum, the carol services, just everything! And this year, for me, would have been even more magical because it would have been my first build up to Christmas with Chris. But, I sacrificed that to come down here and start my new life. I just sometimes wish it hadn't been at Christmas. But I have found that I take comfort in a lot of things. Each Christmas light and decoration I see around London makes me smile, I love seeing carol singers and brass bands everywhere (and there seems to be a lot more down here than up north), the fact that another girl and I went OTT at work and decorated our part of the office like a grotto, and how beautiful the view is I have of West Hampstead in the snow. All of these things help ease not being at home during this season.
Fortunately, during my visit back to Manchester last week I did get to take part in helping decorating Chris's Christmas tree. Throughout the process I kept saying how happy I was to Chris and his flatmate Karl, but even after we had finished I don't think either of them knew what it had meant to me. Granted it wasn't my tree, but it was the first tree Chris and I got to decorate together...and seen as I didn't think I would have a tree at all this year, it really did mean a lot.
So after finishing my shopping on a very, very snowy Oxford Street today (and also surprisingly quiet) I am firmly ready to go home this week to spend Christmas with my nearest and dearest.

My trip home to Manchester was really good. I think I was happy the entire time, but then my entire time was pretty much spent with Chris. From Christmas shopping in Wilmslow, to having a cosy lunch in Alderley Edge, to tree decorating, and having drinks with friends it was just perfect! And it made me realise that my situation is not so desperate. Aside from the constant ache of missing Chris, I'm actually doing better with this whole move thing than I thought I would be. I was worried that when I got home I would have this overwhelming worry about getting on my train and having to come back to London, but I didn't. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy...it's just easier than I thought it would be. Being with Chris...I can't even start to write about it. We didn't even necessarily do anything overly special, just each second I was happy. When we would be lying together or just holding hands on the sofa I was beside myself. So now, looking forward to the 12 days I'll be home this Christmas (cue the song) you can imagine how excited I am to get on that train at 4pm on Thursday. I wanted so much to share this build up with him, that my excitement for Christmas day and the days following it is now all just stored up and I can not wait!!

But I am doing ok down here. I like it. I like the people. And I don't just mean my friends down here, or the people I work with...I mean the amount of people that I see. I love seeing a glimpse of hundreds of peoples lives everyday. I always try and work out where they are going or where they have been or who they could be. I think that's why I actually really like the tube...for 20 minutes in the morning you become part of so many people's day. And there are so many different people...even if you just look in one tube carriage. Race, creed, colour, ethnicity, gay, straight, punk, goth, beautiful people, crazy people...every type of person is presented to you on a daily basis and I love it. Seeing strangers smile as they go along on the tube or mouthing the words to a song as they walk down the street with their iPod on...it almost makes me feel less lonely. Especially at this time of year, it just makes you realise how big the world is...the rushing around of every person and family, doing the shopping, dragging the tree down the street, posting cards, or drunkenly singing along to Wizard as they stubble out of the pub with a Father Christmas hat on...everyone from different walks of life, having their own fun, making their own traditions and all for the same purpose. Christmas.

So as I sit here, watching Santa Claus: The Movie, sipping sherry and counting down to my own Christmas starting when I get home, I wish everyone, every person reading this, every person I know, and all the 1000s that I don't know who I pass everyday, a very Merry Christmas, and goodwill to all. To all.

To you...it's almost Christmas! I know the last few weeks haven't been easy, but when I get home I promise to make it up to you, and make our first Christmas a very special one. Christmas in London is beautiful...I know Christmas most places is but seeing it here for the first time is pretty cool. I wish you where here to see it all with me, but I am counting the minutes until Thursday. Merry Christmas baby x